“If you go out in the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You’d better go in disguise.
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.”
I never thought these lyrics had an element of truth in them, but I have been proved wrong. For indeed it does seem that teddy bears are taking over the world, which of course is an arduous task, and for their troubles they demand a luxury spa hotel to kick back and relax in.
The thing is… I’m not even kidding. For just £80, teddy bears can chill out and recuperate at luxury spa hotel ‘The Bartie Bristle’ in Hampshire, where they can enjoy scented steam baths, a ‘donkey’ ride and trip to the village pond, champagne, a pot of honey, and bodily repair (at an extra cost).
My favourite photo which encapsulates this whole ‘novel’ idea is at the Metro. Think I might head there myself - reckon I can disguise my inferior human body as a teddy bear?
Image: Bear It In Mind / CC
