When I first read about this, I thought it was a joke. Skydiving dogs? Sounds a bit like flying pigs – pull the other one! But no, sadly the army really do have plans to force German Shepherds – who love to sit adoringly by your feet, catch Frisbees and get their tummies tickled – to skydive out of planes 25,000 feet up in the air. They will touch down in war-torn countries like Iraq and Afghanistan and beam back live video footage of ‘hideouts’ to troops safely out of danger.

Or at least that’s the idea. PETA sent Defence Minister Des Browne an urgent letter calling on him to drop the plans and opt for robots instead. Here are the most important (and disturbing) bits:

Rippling muscles, bared teeth, blood soaked fur and jeering crowds. It may sound like a scene out of a gangster film like Snatch or Amores Perros but I’m afraid to say this kind of set-up isn’t unknown in the UK. Brandishing dogs like weapons, and using them to gain status or win money, dog-fighters aren’t only rich and famous men, like a certain American footballer named Mr Vick.

An undercover ex-soldier has unearthed a dog-fighting ring in the Middlesborough and Birmingham areas, leading to a number of arrests. He recorded dodgy deals, dogs on death-row and risks his life in making these facts known. It sickens me to think this is going on under our noses, whatever happened to the notion of ‘man’s best friend’? Bravo ‘Steve’, whoever you are – more men like you, please!

Matt here! Back from the bloggers graveyard while Alexia is away, it’s been almost three months since they let me loose on here and now you’ve got me for a whole 10 days! I can feel the blogosphere swelling with envy already! Right now – down to business:

This August sees the start of the 2008 Olympics – hosted in Beijing, China – but just why are people so animated over it?

Perhaps this will give you some idea and also make you think about the issues that are facing animals in China, that still continue to this day. I don’t want to give too much away so watch for yourself.

Now keep coming back y’hear, I’ve got some exciting stuff planned while the cat is away.Your friendly neighbourhood Matt

p.s. Don’t forget the Morrissey tickets competition

Remember me telling you about the grossly irresponsible FlexPetz ‘rent-a-dog’ scheme? Well, one MP has taken it upon himself to do something about it, by tabling an early day motion in opposition to the company. He says, “Dogs are not jewellery or dinner suits to be used for a day and then returned.” Couldn’t have put it better myself. Read the full story here.

When a lady living in Greece contacted PETA about the animal abuse in the country, I thought at first she might mean the odd starving stray here and there. Then along came these photos and we were so moved, we just had to share them with you. Angela talks of companion animal poisoning, tethered horses and donkeys with no water in the blazing hot sun and physical abuse. WAG and GAWF have got more info on this.

There are two more pics that are a bit graphic, here and here. Your call…

DMX, whose lyrics show his shady stance on animal cruelty in such delightful songs as Dog Match has been arrested on charges of animal cruelty and drug possession. Considering Dog Match blatantly glorifies dog-fighting (seriously, hasn’t he learnt from Michael Vick’s mistake?) I don’t see how he’s going to get out of this one. The indictment came after reports that dogs were being abused on his property last year, led authorities to search his home, where they seized 12 pit bulls and found the bodies of three others buried on his property. Don’t worry, PETA US are all over this one and have contacted the prosecutor asking that, if convicted, DMX gets the maximum prison sentence, a ban on owning animals and counselling.

Image: Hdrlabs / CC

If you needed any more proof that fish are smart, sensitive creatures that deserve more than being battered or stuck in a glass bowl – meet Comet. He plays football, basketball, rugby, limbo dances and more. Now before you start thinking, “Oh that’s soooo cute, I want one. Isn’t Comet amazing?” take the blinkers off and also think about these fun facts:

Fish are, by nature, intelligent beings. Comet is pretty darn amazing but so are all the other fish out there. So don’t go thinking he’s one of a kind.

If fish are proven to be this clever, do they really deserve to be doomed to a 10×10 bowl for the rest of their lives, merely to amuse us impressionable humans? A fish tank is a glass prison – what’s the crime?

Don’t even get me started on fish as food. If you eat fish, the story about Comet’s ‘tricks’ should serve as a good basis to, well… stop eating them. Would you eat your dog? ‘Cause dogs do some neat ‘tricks’ too.

If there’s one new scheme that I seriously hope won’t become the next fad, that’s the irresponsible FlexPetz which forces dogs to move between families who fancy becoming a ‘pet owner’ for a weekend. There’s an interview and the full story on Five News but before you get any wild ideas about how cute it could be to ‘dogsit’, take a moment to think about the poor animals involved. Going back and forth between different homes and families will be stressful and create unstable personalities, it’s bad enough that they’ve already been thrown out of one home for being unwanted. ‘A dog is for life’ isn’t just a catchy phrase to be tossed around – be responsible and only take in a companion animal if you can care for him or her as a full-time guardian.

When you picture a dog, is s/he bouncing along after a ball, greeting a guardian at the front door or some other picture of health and happiness? In 2006, about 5,000 dogs were used in laboratory experiments in the UK alone. These dogs are no different than the ones who live in our own homes, yet the vast majority of them will spend all of their short lives confined indoors and used in drug and pesticide tests, and heart research.

As you’ve seen throughout the week, we don’t need to use animals in testing at all. Alternative, humane techniques provide relevant data about what will happen in humans, and these techniques are far more accurate than animal tests. Examples of animal-free methods include computer models that assess how a drug might work by looking at its chemical structure, cultures of human cells and tissues, and sophisticated scanning techniques that show how organs like the brain actually work in living human beings. These animal-free methods provide accurate, relevant information that we couldn’t get from animal tests. Exciting new techniques like toxicogenomics can assess the effects of chemicals on human genes in a matter of hours. Animal experiments are a throwback to Victorian times, and we should be doing a much better job today. Don’t support charities that conduct or fund animal experiments. Put your money to better use and only donate to charities that have a heart for animals as well as humans.

After a chaotic few weeks of Tibet protests as the Olympic flame makes its way around the world, I think it’s time I had another moan-off about how animals are treated in China. Yes I think the human rights abuse is a very important issue that needs tackling, and my heart goes out to the victims involved. I do also think however, that the animals suffering in that corner of the world need our attention too.

You may remember me writing about the dog meat ban in Beijing a short while ago – China’s effort to clear up at least one of its problem issues that cause tourists to want to vomit or at least go all Ace Ventura and rescue the animals. As we all know, happy tourists = lots of money. If you’re horrified about the conditions for the people trapped in Tibet, so also spare a thought for the dogs and cats in China that are skinned for their fur or slaughtered for their meat (much like all the other animals around the world – pigs, chickens, cows – mind you).

Anyway, on another note – what’s with the shell-suited henchmen?!

Image: Foreign Policy / CC